I've got a week of vacation (Scotland) and a week of a conference ahead of me. Because I'll be out of the country, you probably won't see anything here for over two weeks.
Plus I'm incredibly busy today, so this post will be lame.
Ok, I'm not in marketing nor do I track advertising campaigns. But this morning I was thinking about weird super bowl commercials. Don't ask why.
Not this year, and not last one, but a recent super bowl they had this weird commercial that advertised M-Life. And it wasn't just one commercial - one commercial you can ignore. There were like five or something. The thing is that even though you could tell it was advertising M-Life (because it used that word), you couldn't tell what M-Life was. Moreover, if you thought M-Life was short for Metropolitan Life (the insurance company) you would be wrong.
I mean there are bad jeans commercials out there, but you can at least say after the commercial "they were trying to advertise jeans and they failed." All this series of commercials showed was people talking about "getting an M-Life" and belly buttons. The best response at the time would have been "these marketing jerks should get a mm... life"
So cutting to the chase, in case you are like most people and forgot all about M-Life after the campaign came to its miserable end, M-Life was an advertisement for AT&T wireless. The natural reaction to this information is one of disgust. "Why did I spend any time thinking about this?" Bear with me here.
Belly buttons are not a good symbol for wireless - agreed. The mystery of the unknown "M-Life" is disappointing when it talks about something so mundane - agreed. They wasted your time - agreed.
And I can agree on a few points on AT&Ts side: 1) you don't win market without taking risks 2) people can get excited about the lamest things (eg. beeny babies, the "odd" stories section of the internet news) 3) they paid millions of dollars for those spots
But here's the thing. Sure they lost millions of dollars and became universally ridiculed (by those who care about those types of things), but did they really pay for the error of their ways?
There is the intangible loss that hasn't been covered. I mean let's think about it for one second. When a large corporation has so little respect for the average person, it's stunning. It's breathtaking actually.
Why doesn't our economy work in a positive way? Why don't companies strive to lead the nation to higher ethics? You'll have to forgive the bald idealism of the last question, but it's difficult for me comprehend the complete failure of the real world to put up any kind of pretense of an effort of becoming a better place to live in.
Let's examine the type of person that M-Life was being marketed to. First, this is a person who like mysteries and doesn't mind that the mystery was artificially created. This is a person who doesn't spend much time examining the circumstances of what they get interested in. I like a good football game, but the super bowl has too many commercial breaks. It's watched by something like a quarter of the world, and companies cling to that opportunity and leach every ounce of potential consumer brain wave. But this person does not consider this situation, they just like mysteries.
Second, this person is not disappointed to learn the solution to the mystery is wireless phone service. Somehow wireless technology is either new to them, or still worth thinking about. Although the information conveyed in these commercials has no depth, it must be enough to keep them interested after this person has discovered what M-Life is. Essentially this person has lived on Mars until they watched the super bowl, and like the idea of cell phones more than the game that was stopped so that they could see this commercial.
Third, this person overlooks or doesn't mind that they were compared to a newly born child. In the womb, we are all "wired" to our mothers. We got all of our nutrition through our umbilical cord. And to examine the analogy further, our phone company is therefore compared to our mother. This person is either a person who has an intimate relationship with their phone company, or gets monthly utility bills from their mother.
This is how AT&T defines their customer base. The cold, football-hating Martian that is living an unexamined life. AT&T should not have as much money as it does if this is how it is going to spend it. The lack of responsibility is more stark when you think about how that money could have been spent.
I understand that they made a mistake. And I can forgive them. And with the problems in the world today, I can understand if most people just don't want to think about it. But remember, I'm talking about a large amount of money and world time that could be spent making the world a better place to live in.
The problem is that there is no accountability in this system. I bet that if you have read this far, its because you remember these commercials. But did anyone ever come forward and apologize to you? I don't know why I should forgive people who don't ask for an apology.
If they don't ask for an apology, they probably don't think they did anything wrong. If they don't think they did anything wrong, they'll do it again. Maybe they'll market some product to customers they define as rich, mental patients, who like to look at half naked goats. It's just insulting, and a waste, and it will happen again.
Wow I'm really busy.
I promised my manager (I like my boss. And I'm not saying that because I think he'll ever read this. And I'm not saying it because any of my coworkers will ever read this. I like the way he thinks about stuff. So I'm using the word "manager" because I think it sounds nicer than "boss".) that I would finish something by the end of the week. And I'm not really certain that I can do it, and that is frustrating.
But I take off for Scotland on Saturday. So no matter what I get fun time at the end of the week. So that's great (said with a scottish accent - think Bill Conneley)
And vacation is always relaxing, but it kind of has to be. Otherwise it wouldn't be worth all the stress that it causes just trying to get ready for it. Holy cow.
Did I mention that Target is a pain in my ass? No? I don't know how that happenned. Let me fix the situation: Megan (shes great) went out and found a storage unit they were selling. You might not know that they were selling it, because if you asked anyone that worked at Target they would tell you that they didn't. You have to walk to the display and point out the scale model to them and then they understand. The main problem is that because its so big, they don't have it on the floor - it's always in the stock room. Also, they run out of these particular storage sheds, so you have to go to all the Targets within 30 miles until you can get what you are looking for.
I'm complaining... in case you haven't noticed. Complaints usually don't get you anywhere. I once complained to DirecTV that they didn't have a Lifetime purchase arrangement of the TIVO service like cable does. They said that someone would call me. So they called a few times when I wasn't home and decided to leave their phone number. So I called them back, and told them I wouldn't have bought DirecTV if I had known there wasn't a Lifetime purchase arrangement for the TIVO service ( if it sounds like I've already went over this ground, now you know how I felt). They said "Alright, we'll write that down." And then the call was over. Kinda makes it clear that you know where you stand. The problem with complaints, is that half the time you want to complain about things you have no power (or very little power) over. Like "Why the hell did we invade Iraq?" Shouldn't someone have gotten that straight before we abused Iraqi prisoners and gotten all those people killed.
When I start to think about things like this, I realize the only way to make a positive difference is to determine what the correct course of action is, and recommend that as a suggestion. No one cares about complaints, probably very few people care what you think anyway. But that's your only chance. If you get a chance to say anything that anyone listens to, tell people how to make things different. Don't just say that you don't like things the way they are.
Target: Don't sell anything that's not on the floor.
DirecTV: Be upfront about the lack of lifetime TIVO service agreement. Then I wouldn't have felt like I got screwed.
Bush: You need buy-in from the people of Iraq. It's not a democracy until the people get what they want.
Very few people will listen to this, but the point is that if anyone does I have a better shot at making a difference.
Wow, getting this things started is going to be difficult. I'm trying to come up with an idea for a second post. I thought about writing an anecdote of my life - and then all I could come up with were lame stories. I thought about writing a confession, and then I couldn't come up with a good one that I might want the whole world to read. Then I thought I might write about what I like.
From a high level, what I need is some sort of definition for the blog. And I'm trying hard to define it with this second post, like somehow this posting will change the way I will write the rest of this blog. I don't think that's a good idea.
So I'm just going to write about what hits me next.....
Coffee. That's what I thought of, so here goes:
Coffee is great in some ways, and in other ways is my doom. It gives me some energy in the morning, but it really just redistributes the energy over the course of the day. I mean sure, I get the boost right after I drink it, but then I get tired later. So it adds a little control to my life - if I think I need a boost maybe I'll go drink some coffee... I just have to live with the fact that I end up with less later.
The real problem is that level of control can be addicting. I know everyone else's life is easy - but mine is really hard. So I keep coming up with reasons to need some extra energy. And I just end up in a downward spiral in terms of energy level.
I've quit a few times, and its great! I highly recommend it.
Oh well, so this story has now become boring. But you have to give me a break - I mean I am talking about coffee after all. It not like I can come up with a really funny story that involves coffee in an important way. Its coffee! Half the world probably drinks it once a day or more! It's like trying to come up with a good story about pencils or something.
I bet coffee has an interesting history. But I don't know that much about it.
I know! My confession for the day: I don't think interesting thoughts all the time. It can be extremely embarrassing. I mean come on, what the hell was I thinking here? How can I win friends and take over the world, when the most important thought I had in the last five minutes was that I should quit drinking coffee? It's a problem.
Wow! that was really easy to set up! I only hope that this blog has some longevity, because otherwise this effort is pointless. Not that I believe that anyone will ever want to read my daily barf - but I can have dreams can't I?
Life slips by so quickly! Without a diary/blog there's no way to go back and account for all the emotions and events that make up your life. And I've always been leary of killing trees for the pleasure of reminescing. So this is a good deal.
Now that I've begun, I don't know where to start. blarg
Well this is a pretty lame way to start the blog of my life, but then again I hardly ever miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity!
